1. Nobody being able to keep their shots on the ground.
Your mate is through on goal, all he has to do is put it in the back of the net. But no. He can’t adapt to the low 5-a-side goals. He finds his inner Titus Bramble and blazes it way, way over the cross bar and it gets stuck in the netting surrounding the pitch. The best climber in the group will eventually save the day by scaling the impossible height and retrieving the ball. Play then resumes before they’re even back on the ground..
2. Getting rubber bits stuck in your shoes.
These little rubber cubes are great for softening a fall but they get absolutely everywhere. You’ll be finding these in your shoes for the next few weeks.
3. Being able to dive into any sort of challenge without having to worry about grazing your knees.
Those annoying rubber bits do have their use on the football pitch. They cushion any type of fall. Horror tackles are flying in left, right and centre. People literally throwing themselves to the floor to block a shot because they are no consequences on this spongy surface.
4. Having to play 4 against 5 because one of your mates pulled out last minute.
Rush goalie! The goalkeeper on the depleted team starts thinking he’s Neuer and starts going on a solo run up the pitch. This leaves you horribly vulnerable to endless counter-attacks and open goals.
5. Doing a penalty shootout once you’re too tired to play a match.
You’re battered and bruised but you still want to play so the worst player is nominated to go in goal for a shootout. Everyone will then berate him for not attempting to save a single penalty even though he never wanted to go in goal in the first place.
BY - Owen Holland
29 April 2015